Making space for ch-ch-ch-changes

For an early Christmas present, we gave the kids a 1000 piece Star Wars puzzle. Of course, Chris and I (the super cool people that we are) got really into getting the puzzle finished. Chris exclaimed, “we need to get these extra pieces off the board so we can see what spaces we have left to fill! The board is too cluttered!”

Little did I know when purchasing this gift that this puzzle would become a metaphor for my life this week. The truth about my life: I know what the greater picture looks like. I know what the goal is. I know I have the pieces to get there. But right when I think - “this is it, the puzzle is finished, look how beautiful it is!” I realize, oh - that piece doesn’t actually fit, and I have to rearrange everything. Or, worse yet, realize you've lost an important final piece in the shuffle to make the larger puzzle make sense.

It made me think of the book, the Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, that I read last year. Marie Kondo says:

While my house is far from the sort of “tidy” that Marie would approve of, I took a bigger life lesson from this book: Make space for what you want.

Last year, I wrote this on my wall:

I went back and looked at it today, and I felt like it was more relevant to me than ever before. Because change is afoot in our lives. It always is. For Chris and me, change is almost as constant as love (almost... but we're pretty in love). The second I feel like I understand life and can do things well, circumstances pivot and shift and the terrain is unfamiliar once again. In a way, when things are challenging and unfamiliar, it makes me think that I’m on the right track.

This week has been full of unpredictable business issues and changes, in both of our businesses (the grocery store and the band). Staffing and lineup changes, moving parts, financials, strategy… everything. And, sometimes it’s overwhelming. Sometimes, I feel these small shift and pivots ebbing away at my resolve, eating away at the confidence that we are successful, that we’re making the right choices, that we’re moving in the right direction.

A friend of mine who runs a very successful business in Seattle told me, “People always tell me that I’m so inspiring because I’m so confident. The thing they don’t realize is my confidence is really me just ignoring my crippling self doubt.” Yep. Couldn’t agree more.

And right when the crippling self doubt rears its ugly head, I remember that I have to make space, despite the pain that making space creates. Because in business (and in life in general), we should want to grow. And if we want to grow, then that means the components of your life will have to shift for that growth to occur. And for those new components to fit into place, there has to be space for them.

What if every time one constant in our lives went away, we could celebrate the time we had with that constant and then celebrate the impending arrival of the new component that would take its place? What if the pains of change we feel brought us joy because we knew that the pain was bringing with it the future we've been asking for?

I really like my life, so its hard when phases end, when friendships change, when things shift. It’s hard when you think, “this is so good it will last forever,” only to realize that it won’t, it can’t, and really, most things shouldn’t stay the same forever. Because as we grow, challenge ourselves and try to realize our dreams, the elements around us will then change. Stagnation is the opposite of growth, and stagnation requires no change, while growth is synonymous with change.

Recently I just read the Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, and the author says that our happiness as human is really related to the complexity and rate of which we are interested in solving our problems. If we have very primal/basic problems, that’s less enjoyable to the human mind. But the deeper we delve into our passions and interests, the more we solve easy problems and get into things that challenge us, our happiness index goes up. So, harder problems means happier lives?

Making space for what you want means that if you want growth, sometimes you have to be willing to let things go so that you have room to move into the next phase. So, in this winter season, while things in nature go quiet, I’m making space in my life and finding gratitude for the components that are active in my life right now, especially the people.

And I'm challenging myself to honor the things that are changing and transforming, thanking them for the place of constant they've been for me, and welcoming the new things on their way. Cuz, I like doing shit that scares me. I like being out of my element. So, I guess, bring it on? At the very least I can say, growing pains: I'm ready for ya.

I'll leave you with this:

XOXO,

Jen Deale

Boss Lady, Camp Crush // SBP Smoothies // Bailey & Cooper