Becoming Resolute!
I’m a big fan of New Year’s resolutions. I’m not talking about a resolution to lose 15 pounds or make more money. I like resolutions that are about being resolute on who you want to be. Resolute: admirably purposeful, determined, and unwavering. Shouldn't we be that way about the most important quest of our entire life: being the person we know we want to be?
A few nights ago, two glasses of red wine in and hours deep in editing a music video, Chris looks over at me and says, “I would love to be the kind of person that wakes up 30 minutes early, drinks a cup of coffee and fully wake up before I go to work."
When he said it, he said it like it was the most impossible thing in the world. Now, the truth is, this is hard resolution. Especially when you have kids. Especially when you run a business. Especially when you moonlight as a drummer for a rock band and then double moonlight as a music video maker/graphic designer and t-shirt designer and your only time to do these things is late at night. So, yeah, this is hard. But it’s not impossible, right? It’s only 30 minutes - there has to be a way?
Chris and I got to thinking that the only reason he wants to wake up and have coffee is because rolling out of bed, making his way into our VW Vanagon and driving in an exhausted stupor to work isn’t serving him well. And maybe 30 minutes less sleep, even though its hard to imagine, is actually just what his body and mind are asking for. Maybe a little less sleep and a little more morning time would serve him better?
We didn’t talk about it again, but this morning, after I got the kids on the bus, I walked into the kitchen and realized there was a fresh pot of coffee already made. And then I remembered for the past few mornings that there’s been coffee made. And that’s a beautiful thing about Chris: when he decides something, he goes all in. He becomes resolute about it! It’s extraordinary. He's extraordinary, clearly. It’s a simple thing to get up early and make coffee and drink a cup. But simple things aren’t necessarily easy and simple things can really make a huge impact to get you where you want to go.
For me, I’ve been simmering on my goals and resolutions for this year. Our family is in a time of big growth and transition. Our business (the store) and the band are growing and changing, all in ways we’re excited about. I’m still nailing down a lot of my specific goals, but in terms of resolutions, here’s what I’ve got so far:
First, I want to say “you guys” less. I know it sounds silly, but every time I say that to a group of women, I feel a pang in my gut that tells me I could be more “woke” in this. I like to be casual with people, keep things light and fun. The alternatives “You all” or “everyone” seem formal. “Y’all” seems fake - so I’m open to ideas if anyone has any. But, I want to be a person that embraces inclusivity in my language this year.
Secondly. I want to speak honestly to people earlier. I want to stop tip-toeing around what I need to accomplish what I'm working on, state the truth casually and do this up front. I don't want to wait to see if the person will meet my expectations, because that's monumentally unfair. I want to be upfront and honest early enough to help everyone be successful. I dabbled in trying this in 2017, and I now know that I need to go all in with this approach to communication. With my employees and business partners, with my friends, with my kids, in my relationship, I’m excited to allow myself the space to say what I need, and do it early on to help people understand what I need from them. Letting people truly partner with you by letting them know what you need from a partner - I've been trying some form of this unintentionally, but now it's time get intentional about it.
Thirdly, I want to prioritize self love. I am a perfectionist, and will often dissect my performances, my work, my conversations and actions to see if I could have done it better. And, I think this practice has helped me along the way to improve and to face my faults head on. But, I think I need to do better at also internally recognizing my talents and my good traits. When I’m giving myself constructive feedback, I want to also take a minute and live and dwell in what went well and what I did right.
Finally, I want to spend 5 minutes each morning, eyes closed, visualizing what I want. I want to keep my goals and dreams right in front of me. I want to visualize happy, healthy kids. I want to visualize Chris and I drinking cold beers on the beach at Sauvie Island in the heat of summer. I want to visualize us on stage, playing the music we've made for people who are excited to hear it. I want to imagine my new record in my hands and the music in my ears. In the heat of fighting for what you want in life, it’s hard to take time to remember why you wanted it in the first place. In the next year, I want to think daily about why we work so hard, why we are investing so much.
So, for 2018, I'm ready to keep dreaming ridiculously big, walking forward in confidence, resolute in the goals in front of me. And, I'm ready for some inspiration from you. I want to hear your resolutions! What are you working on in 2018?
We got this.
XOXO!
Jen Deale
Boss Lady, Camp Crush // SBP Smoothies // Bailey & Cooper