The Obstacle is the Way

Recently I read a book called The Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday. The book is rooted in Stoic Philosophy, and the basic gist is that whatever you think is an obstacle in life is actually a solution. Another way to put it - your failures are just a built-in directional sign, pointing you towards the path to success.

First off, I can’t recommend this book enough. The author does such a fantastic job of showing you that there is no excuse big enough to let yourself off the hook to go after what you want.

I really connect with this because for so much of my life I was caught up in saying, “if only…” If only we had gotten that one gig, if only I didn’t have college loans to pay off, if only I had more support, if only I didn’t have so much responsibility, and on it went. And with each, “if only,” I gave myself a way out of really trying for something.

But the truth is, no one ever has a perfect situation to go after their dreams, desires, or wants. In fact, the more I experience in life, the more I realize that success never comes without a risk and sacrifice of some kind. There’s a point when you have to jump. You have to want the thing you want more than you want to be comfortable. Steve Harvey talks about this exact thing (I watched is and ugly-cried for about 3 minutes): https://youtu.be/B5AGuu6sDRQ

So, what if this obstacle/the excuse/the get-out-of-jail-free card is not the stumbling block but instead is pointing you which way you should go.

I’ll give you a real world example: I am 35 years old and a full time professional musician. I have two children who are 8 and 10 years old. I can’t go on the road like my peers do, I can’t be gone that long. My kids need me, there’s hair to be brushed, homework to do, hide and seek outside to be played. My wonderful life as a mom could be seen as an obstacle to my lifelong dream and desire to be a full time musician. But, this book suggests that instead of it being my obstacle, it could be the way.

After all, the years I’ve lived and the love and loss that I’ve experienced is influencing the music I write, the performances I give. I am all in, I have no choice. There’s not time for me to have to figure myself out on stage. I need to be 100% in, and that impacts my performances. I take this really seriously. My business background makes me savvy and driven on the business side of the music industry. I don’t wait on deadlines, I work closely with my venue partners, I am constantly learning new ways to get the word out and drive awareness for the music.

At face value, being a 35 year old mother of two could be an obstacle to my path as a full time musician, but I choose to see it as a guiding light, a sign pointing me in the direction I need to keep pressing toward. Yes, the path is hard, but if it was easy, everybody would do it!

As I read this book, I started peeling back the layers of other obstacles I had identified in my life and the permanency I had given them. It’s a process, but I love the perspective of every time I say “If only…” I stop, back up and ask myself if this obstacle is actually showing me an opportunity to keep trying in a new, smarter, more effective way? Maybe I won’t go on the Great American Tour for 10 more years, but for these next 10 years, can I experience something even more beautiful and fulfilling?

Now is the time to shed the excuses we let ourselves hold on to and find the way to push towards living out the greatness we have inside, despite the difficulty. We have too much goodness to give and to experience to see a mountain in front of us and be afraid or unwilling to walk the path up and over the mountain, even if it is a rockier and steeper climb than we initially imagined.

Cheers to mountains climbed and to the ones ahead! XOXO,

Jen Deale

Boss Lady, Camp Crush, SBP Smoothies, Bailey & Cooper

PS - we are beginning deliveries of our Kickstarter rewards next week! We can't wait to get this music and goodies into your hands! XOXO!